Therapuetic blogging

I have always found in my life that talking out my problems is the fastest way for me to get over them. If I keep them inside they seem to fester, and then I bubble over with unwanted emotional outbreaks, etc. So, to help myself, I have usually kept a journal of some kind. This way, even if I am not talking to someone, I am getting out my thoughts and feelings in some way. Today, my blog will serve that purpose.

I have had a fairly tough start to the week and it is only 1:37 on Monday. Yesterday, we were trying to go to a friend's farewell, and we weren't sure where it was. So, we went to pull out the GPS I had just bought, so we could plug in directions, and found out it had been stolen. We hadn't even had it for a week, and it was already gone. With that on my mind, it was really hard to get much out of church. I just couldn't seem to focus, I was playing the past days over and over in my head trying to figure out when, where, and how it could have been taken, as we are pretty vigilant about locking up the car.

The rest of the day seemed to be going along the same way, a bit rough with some good parts thrown in. That evening we had some friends over for dinner, and played games. I was feeling better about things, and while I hated the wasted money, I had to think that it could have been a lot worse.

We went to the neighbors later for smores and to let the kids play. Lexi was on their playset, and went down the slide a bit too fast, and hurt her foot. She cried for a while, and complained about it hurting, but it looked fine, and I thought nothing of it. We ended up going to bed a while later, and about 2 in the morning she came into our room screaming bloody murder. She was sobbing hysterically, and couldn't catch her breath. I was sooooo tired, and tried to be patient to find out what was wrong. She kept touching her foot and saying what I later translated into it hurts. I calmed her down, and snuggled her up. A few minutes later she needed to use the bathroom, but when she got up, she started screaming and crying again. Apparently putting pressure on her foot hurt too much. After unsuccessfully trying to calm her down and quiet her so she wouldn't wake up her brothers, I asked her what she wanted to do. She said, "I just need to say a prayer."

Her prayer was a heartfelt plee to HF that the pain would just go away, and stop hurting her. She sobbed through the whole thing. Because it was 3 in the morning by then, and she was no closer to going back to bed, I decided to take her to the ER just in case something was broken.

We went to Orem Community. No one else was there, but it still took several hours. When the doctor finally came in to see her, she had calmed down significantly, but her toe was still severely swollen. He sent us over to radiology for an x-ray. The room with the x-ray was freezing cold, so she cried the whole time. The tech gave her a sticker for being such a good patient.

When we got back to the exam room, a different nurse came in to check on our insurance information, and Lexi proudly reported, "I got this beautiful princess sticker for being so patient." I couldn't help but laugh at her misunderstanding, but both applied I guess since we had been there almost 2 hours at that point.

When the doctor finally came back in he told me that her toe was jammed, and swollen, but there were no breaks, and she just needed some asprin and a band aid.

So, I am glad nothing is wrong with her, but a bit frustrated that I had just spent $125 in a copay, plus whatever I end up owing for x-rays, for them to tell me to put a band aid on it. Not to mention I got almost no sleep last night.

Today, Lexi won't walk on it at all, she either crawls or asks me to carry her. Needless to say it has been a tiring and frustrating morning thus far.

The point of my ranting and raving-- I had an expensive, unproductive, and frustrating start to the day/week. I am tired. I am overwhelmed. I have more work than I can handle on 4 hours of sleep. I have a husband that can't help much because he can't walk without crutches. I have an ever growing to-do list. I have laundry out my ears. I have 3 sweet children who just want to go play, and instead I sit here blogging. But, I learned that things are just things, money is just money, a lack of sleep won't kill me, and at least I have a beautiful family, a loving Heavenly Father, and a great support system in place.

Can I really learn that much from close to $300 of wasted money, 2.5 pointless hrs in the ER, and a stolen GPS? Maybe not, but that is how I am feeling today. So thanks Gma S. for inviting us to swim, Mom and James for playing with my kids at the pool, Neil and Kathy for calling to check that we are okay, and anyone who reads this long outpouring of thoughts.