My Grandma, Grandma Clawson, has had poor health for years, but it has really gone down hill this year. A few weeks ago she had a big surgery and has been in and out of the hospital since. Yesterday she took a turn for the worse, and after some hard decisions, they removed her feeding tube. The family all gathered last night to say their final goodbyes. It was a very somber occasion. I am still a hormonal mess from my pregnancy, and I had a hard time keeping it together. She is such a neat lady, and I love her so much. I can't even imagine life without her.
Here are a few memories and characteristics I love about her:
I moved into Grandma and Grandpa's house my senior year of high school. And they made me feel so welcome to live there. Grandma would pack me a lunch and snacks every day. She knew how much I loved cucumbers, and always made sure I had plenty. She is the most thoughtful woman. She always makes sure she has the favorite snacks of the grandkids and great grandkids. She would buy Gushers just because she knew I loved them. And, whenever Arby's had their roast beef sandwiches on their 5 for $5 deal (I know this is a long time ago), she would buy a bunch and freeze them, then she would reheat it and have one ready for me when I got home from cross country practice. She always knows how to make everyone feel so special. These are just a few of many examples of how she would take care of everyone.
Grandma is a great cook. She loves going through recipes, and sharing her "secrets" for making things taste good. She wasn't shy about using the good ingredients, like butter, cream, and sugar! She has always been such a great example to me of using what you have and making things great. She has always been amazing at using her produce and growing an amazing garden, canning, and preserving foods for use later. She exemplified the adage, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." She was a homemaker, cook, and so much more!
Grandma can be described as plucky! She is opinionated, and funny, and has a generous heart. One of my favorite memories is of her rewatching BYU football games, and being just as into them as if they were live. She hasn't slept well in years, and would often stay up in her chair and watch television at night. She would watch games from the eighties, the good years, and on several occasions woke me up by screaming at the refs on the television when they made a bad call. I love it! We watched the 2001 World Series together, and that was one of my favorite things. My friends knew not to call if the games were on. I am a Yankees fan now, because of Brett, but back then Randy Johnson and the Diamond Backs were my #1 team, and Grandma loved them because Mike and DeAnne are from AZ. We had so much fun.
A couple weeks ago when we went up to visit Grandma in the hospital she kept telling me that she was going to die and get to meet my baby (I was pregnant at the time) before I would get to. I told her that if she did to tell her to come quickly. Grandma said, "No, I am going to tell her to take her time." She is too funny! When we went to visit her last night she was pretty out of it, in a lot of pain, but I brought CC so she could see her because Grandpa kept telling me that she has been asking about her. She woke up briefly, kissed her, told me she was beautiful, and how happy she is for our family. She shared her love for us, and thanked us for being in her life. It was so sweet. When we visited her at her home a week or so ago she told Brett how much she appreciates him, and how much he has meant to her. That she loves him. She gave each of my kids love, and made them feel special. She has a way of doing that. She remembers everyone's birthdays, their favorites, and stories. I don't know how we will all stay up to date on what is going on in the family without Grandma. She kept us all together and informed.
I am so grateful for the love and example she has set for me. I so glad each of my children got a chance to meet her, and the three oldest got to know her. I wish we lived closer. My Grandpa gave her a blessing and told her she was a daughter of God and could return to him now. It is hard to think about life without her, especially for my sweet Grandpa, but I am so glad we have eternal perspective, and the gospel because I know that last night won't be the last time I get to be with my Grandma.
This is such a jumble, just like my emotions, but I needed to get some of it out. I am going to miss her so much!
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