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Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Setting limits

Today has been a challenge with my oh so bright, and oh so emotional 7 year old. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed. This daylight savings thing is great in many ways, but the hardest part for us is that Dillan with too little sleep is Dillan the monster. He is still going to bed at the same time, but his internal clock is waking him up early.

I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have trained my child to ignore me, to push, and to act out rather than through emotions. Re-training him and myself is SO NOT EASY! I have been reading some great stuff about being a better parent, learning to be more empathetic, not yelling, setting limits rather than using punishments, etc. Woah this stuff is challenging. Almost as challenging as Dillan.

Today was the perfect test of what I have been learning and trying to put into play. Responding with love and patience when all I want to do is yell. Setting limits and sticking to them. Ugh. Parenting is hard work. This baby can just stay in for as long as she wants, because I need to get a handle on this whole parenting thing first. haha

Dillan is a very emotional child, and I have been trying to teach him that emotions are okay to experience, but it is how he manages them that is a problem. His go to method is to lash out (which he likely learned from me, awesome) so this means lots of blaming, lots of hitting, lots of yelling. None of which is good. We are trying to change this. This morning he and Lexi had a rough go. They just did not want to get along. He hit her, and that was a limit that we set, so he lost the privilege of friends and electronics today. We are going on over an hour of crying, and my patience is wearing thin. So I came in my room to reread an article I felt was useful. Here it is. And give myself a timeout so that I do not break my own rule and yell.

Wish me luck! 


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